Do It Yourself, part one.

My twelve speed Schwinn has been holding up well for this go round of 30 days of biking, though the past two days have seen some inclement conditions - Saturday night I got caught in a rainstorm and the chain stretched, a bit, or got extra clean from all of the rain water.  The result was today's painful and nearly sadistic bike ride.  After getting under way, about fifteen miles on the roundabout to the library, I shifted my chain between my rear cassette and my spokes.  (ONE).  This occurred, (TWO), numerous, (THREE) times before, (FOUR), making it to the library, (FIVE).  (SIX).  The first three or four times, as the rear wheel came out of alignment and connected with the frame of the bicycle, I was stopped short and removed myself from the bicycle in order to de-spoke the chain and re-align the wheel.  By the sixth occurrence, a little less than a block from my destination, I got all Walter Langowski, Bruce Banner, Dr. Jekyll and went into a 2001 Space Odyssey, "This is my club, hear me roar!" routine. What seemed at the time a display of strength and mechanical mastery was more akin to George Costanza as Koko, the talking chimp.  Highly ineffectual.

Bless those librarians though. 
I walked into my local branch, literally dripping blood from the gouges on my fingers, (did I mention the chain, rear cassette and front cranks actually tore skin off my fingers as I sought to separate the chain from the spokes and cassette), and proceeded to clean my hands, apply band aids from a first aid kit, and soap away what grit had gotten into the cuts.  I even stayed for the free wi-fi before quietly exiting, hoping I hadn't elicited a disaster preparedness drill.  I am eternally grateful.
I snapped a quick photo of downtown St. Paul, (for some reason this corner, with the buildings, reminds me of a Georgia O' Keefe painting, from the New York series), stopped for lunch and hoped the worst of it was behind me.  Wrong. 
(Seven). 
(Eight).
Mercifully, the rear derailleur snapped in half, and the day was over.  Well, half over.  A good Samaritan rolled past and asked if I needed help.  I replied yes, introduced myself and proceeded to relate my tale of woe.  Oscar, as he introduced himself, quickly helped me transform my twelve speed into a single speed, which allowed me to motivate to the nearest DIY.  Not incidentally, the rear wheel decided to re-align itself every time I started from a stand still, thus finding myself on the side of the road, again re-aligning the rear wheel as traffic honked and gawkers gawked - I understand this is why single speeders prefer not having a quick release.  Two hours later at the DIY, some gauze and bandages and I'm all set for tomorrow.  Big thanks to The Hub. 

Downtown Saint Paul, 4-23-2012.  Photo by Michael McKinney.

New Cassette, Chain, Rear Derailleur.  Photo and work by Michael McKinney.

Some really sharp, dirty objects.  Photo by Michael McKinney.

Sesquipadelian Tergiversation

Cadillac Desert: The American West and Its Disappearing Water by Marc Reisner

My rating: 4 of 5 stars


An amazing exposition of talent and research.  Reisner details the discovery and mapping of the Colorado river personifying the Grand Canyon and giving identity, animation and character to the water.  The river becomes more anorexic and salinated as the book nears its conclusion, mirroring the river it is describing. 

As a scientist, Reisner researches the qualities of living created throughout the Western United States, discusses in detail the farming practices of California, Texas, Utah, Wyoming, Colorado, Oregon and attempts to establish an awareness for conservancy in the future.

There is, however, one small note that can be made about the writing.  Nowhere, in what reading I have accomplished, have I seen another writer use two words, back-to-back, whose total syllable quantity exceeds a dozen.  Seems redundant: "Sesquipedalian tergiversation."



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Saint Patrick's day 2012

3-4-2012, Greenway moon at Sunset, Photo by Michael McKinney

2-24-2012, Greenway pianist, Photo by Michael McKinney

3-5-212, Minneapolis skyline, photo by Michael McKinney

3-12-2012, frosty leaf on the sidewalk, photo by Michael McKinney

3-17-2012, Gateway Trail, photo by Michael McKinney

I included some photos from the past couple of weeks - today I used the Strava app with my iphone to record a ride into Stillwater via the Gateway Trail.  Also, I've been having this teeth rattling vibration shock through my bicycle when riding it over certain speeds, it was jokingly referred to as the governor today, and maybe that's not far off.  I think it has to be the hubs in my Mavic Wheelset, but to this point they've been solid wheels.  Anyway, I queried online about it last year, and here's what the Craigslist community had to offer, as far as advice.

vibration < mlmck > 06/12 13:25:08

Hi- I usually get my work done at a shop, so this one has me stumped- I've consulted a couple people and am thinking I'll just take it to a shop eventually. Here it is- my bike is vibrating. And squeaking as it vibrates. It's usually when I am not pedaling, and holding the pedals in place as I go around a curve or (rest). I think it is a pressure related vibration, but where? Pressure on the bottom bracket? Pressure on the Rear hub? And is the vibration being caused by a bearing, a broken axle? It isn't consistent, but it happens more and more frequently. Any suggestions?

Parkinson's < the_grinchy_grinch > 06/12 14:32:15

Sorry...
But if it vibrates when you are coasting you can eliminate the bottom bracket at least.

My bet is that it is the freewheel OR freehub.
If it is not in perfect alignment, it can cause pretty violent vibrations.

Stand next to the bike, and turn the cranks backwards. Note if you see the rear cogs wobble up and down/ side to side.

my 2 possible sources < Jamis-KsyriumSL > 06/12 19:38:32

Its happened to me too.. but vibration was felt at 40 MPH or higher

1) loose headset (easy to fix)

2) sand in the rear hub - disassemble, clean, and lub

blew out your rear races < big_53 > 06/12 20:05:17

hold your bike wiggle the rear wheel. does it move back a forth a little bit?

Phobatrivaphobia

Top Five lists: a collection of totally random lists generated while enduring a lack of creativity. RIP Patrick McDarby, OSB, Creative Writing Professor and a fan of Birkenstocks.

Evil laughs-
5. Elmo Blatch
4. Arnold Toht
3. Emperor Palpatine
2. Max Cady
1. Wicked Witch of the West

Brothers in film-
5. Commodus, (Gladiator)
4. Michael, (Love Actually)
3. Jed / Matt, (Red Dawn)
2. Jacob, (A Simple Plan)
1. Marcus Sommers / David Grant, (American Flyers)


Movies with car crashes as central plot points-
5. Crash
4. Changing lanes
3. The Blues Brothers
2. Vacation
1. Magnolia

With issues -
5. Timothy Treadwell
4. Jungle Josh
3. Jack Hannah
2. Terry Thompson
1. Steve Irwin

Sports stories -
5. Michael Jordan and bankruptcy
4. Wilt Chamberlin and women
3. Magic Johnson and aids
2. JR Rider and schizophrenia / manic depression
1. Zidane Zydatte and the head butt

Rick rossovich quotes -
5. Splash that sucker, YEAH!
4. Don't make me bust you up, man!
3. They won't fuck with us in the water!
2. Can I fluff your pillows?
1. I'd like to be Martha Stewart's house boy.

Animal activists -
5. Jimmy garrett
4. Mitch robbins
3. Roger, (101 dalmations)
2. Aurthur dent
1. Dr. peter elliot

Video gamers-
5. Alex rogan
4. Kevin flynn
3. David Lightman
2. Jobe smith
1. John connor

Computer greats-
5. Boris Grishenko
4. Denis Nedry
3. Jeremy Talbott
2. Miles Dyson
1. Paul Stephens / Harold wormser

Son/father scientists-
5. David/julius levinson
4. Adrian/ harry helmsley
3. Ivan/anton vanko
2. Harry/norman osborn
1. Indiana/henry jones

Piano players-
5. Willie conway
4. david halfgott
3. Murphy "murph" dunne
2. Melvin udall
1. Jack/frank baker

Little brothers-
5. Paul Mclean
4. Danny vinyard
3. Louis rogan
2. Gee money
1. David Grant

Survivors-
5. Robert neville, (Omega man)
4. Robert neville, (I am legend)
3. Eli
2. The bride
1. David drayton

Least favorite political activists-
5. Legalizers
4. Pro-lifers
3. 2nd amendment advocates
2. Tobacco lobbyists
1. Promise keepers

Classic death scenes-
5. Alien vivesection
4. Saving Private Ryan "Mike!"
3. Lawnmower Man
2. S.P.R. "momma..momma"
1. Spock, Star trek II

Losers-
5. mike connell
4. john milner
3. bodhi
2. cliff poncier
1. john bender

Torture scenes-
5. misery
4. resevoir dogs
3. princess bride
2. pulp fiction
1. hannibal

Rivalries-
5. hook and pan
4. dorothy and wicked witch
3. roy hobbes and harriet byrd
2. paul sheldon and annie wilkes
1. robin hood and the sheriff of nottingham

Journalists-
5. max mercy
4. tick tock mclaughlin
3. hunter thompson
2. paul mclean
1. amy archer

DJs-
5. adrian cronauer
4. jack lukas
3. mark hunter
2. lynne thigpen
1. steve dunne

Earthbound characters-
5. vincent freeman
4. sam lowry
3. selma jezkova
2. bernard max
1. william foster

Drinkers with a writing problem-
5. WP mayhew
4. sean maguire
3. ben sanderson
2. eliot loudermilk
1. jack torrance

Tragic female leads-
5. abelone corleone
4. jessie, (mad max)
3. murron mcclannaugh
2. maggie fitzgerald
1. brendan teena

Tragic female leads continued-
5. sarah goldfarb
4. sophie macdonald
3. the widow, (irene papas)
2. sarah packard
1. vesper lynd

With smarm-
5. Jack Jericho
4. Blake, (two girls and a guy)
3. Stuart, (threesome)
2. Troy Dyer
1. Cliff Poncier

Coulda woulda shoulda / eternal recurrence-
5. groundhog day
4. its a wonderful life
3. wizard of oz
2. scrooged
1. the family man

Great big monsters-
5. Donnie darko (Rabbit)
4. Permanent midnight, (Mr. Chompers)
3. Harvey, (Rabbit)
2. Prophecy, (Mutant bear)
1. Kujo, (St. Bernard)

Titles with animals-
5. Wag the dog
4. spanking the monkey
3. eagle eye
2. the bad news bears
1. A fish called wanda

Great dog champions-
5. buck
4. white fang
3. Chiri
2. old yeller
1. lad

Improv-
5. leave the gun, take the canolis.
4. Here's Johnny!
3. you talkin to me?
2. play it again, sam
1. fava beans

Siblings of ruin-
5. Commodus
4. Larry Buckman
3. Kip Dynamite
2. Michael, (love actually)
1. Jacob Mitchell

Uncles of distinction-
5. claudius
4. Rio
3. Buck
2. Vinny
1. Tom

Public library smells -
5. bonfire
4. Ashtray
3. Potculi
2. Baby powder
1. feces

Robin Williams typecast -
5. Patch Adams
4. Awakenings
3. Good Will Hunting
2. Dead Poets Society
1. Good Morning Vietnam

Axis of evils -
5. Hitler, Mousolini, Hirohito
4. Mao, Castro, Pol Pot
3. Khomeini, Arrafat, Noriega
2. Bin Laden, Mubarek, Khadafi
1. Admehnejan, Jong Il, Hussein

Executive assistants-
5. Ms. rutledge
4. Ms. moneypenny
3. Marcella, (Grosse Point Blank)
2. Dohralee rhodes
1. Mr. kobayashi

The hard way-
5. George Junk
4. Frank abignale jr.
3. Mark whitacre
2. Daulton Lee
1. larry flynt

With backbone-
5. michael clayton
4. darby shaw
3. jerry doolittle
2. Jen schlichtman
1. bill white

Doomsayers-
5. Jeffrey Goines
4. Photojournalist, (Apocalypse Now)
3. Mrs. Carmody
2. Harlan Ogilvy
1. Joseph, (Contact)

Runners -
5. Rudy gerner
4. Eric liddell
3. Frank dunne
2. Lola
1. Danny zuko

Antagonists-
5. Ted Mcginley
4. Roy stalin
3. Teddy beckersted
2. Spaulding Smails
1. White goodman

Pets -
5. Schrodinger's cat
4. Pavlov's dog
3. Lorenz's cichlids
2. Goodall's chimpanzees
1. Mowat's wolves

Contenders -
5. David Grant
4. Steve Tevere
3. Daniel LaRusso
2. David Chappellet
1. Toni Kurz / Andi Hinterstoisser

With a stutter -
5. Hal Hefner
4. Ken Pile
3. Gordie Lachance
2. King George VI
1. Billy Bibbit

Who never catch on -
5. Sam Lowry
4. Andy Kaufman
3. Barton Fink
2. Pip, (Great Expectations)
1. Forrest Gump

Who suffer from greatness -
5. John Nash
4. David Helfgot
3. Jackson Pollock
2. Bobby Fischer
1. Nathaniel Ayers

Imaginary friends -
5. Tyler Drudin
4. Charles, (A Beautiful Mind)
3. Snuffleuffagus
2. Harvey
1. Elvis Presley

Tuesday Night Dance Party

Oh Geez, I love that Sheryl Crow album, Tuesday Night Music Club.  Not quite Adele, but pretty darn rootin tootin good.  I went for a run tonight, and stuck to my 10 mile route...there were a lot of people out, even though it was later in the day and the sun had already set.  I was going to post something about sudoku, but since drafting a possibly Earth Shattering Blog Post about being able to solve a Hard puzzle in under 5 minutes, I've fallen off my concentration and my times are back in the 15 minute range.  Somewhere there's a lab rat saying, "Serves you right."  Anyway, here's my run route, and another playlist.  It's some of the same music...though no Sheryl Crow or Adele.





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Outta Mind (Outta Sight), Wilco
A Little Light, Bob Mould
Dreamer in My Dreams, Wilco
Pot Kettle Black, Wilco
Flipside, The Breeders
Street Fighting Man, The Rolling Stones
Sleeping With Girls, Willie Wisely Trio
Nothing'severgonnastandinmyway (Again), Wilco
Good Times Bad Times, Led Zeppelin
Limehouse Blues, Bireli Lagrene
Good Day Sunshine, The Beatles
Hear My Train A Comin', Jimi Hendrix
You Speak My Language, Morphine
Lie to Me, Johnny Lang
Miles and Miles of Texas, Asleep at the Wheel
Shake Your Money Maker, Paul Butterfield
Let Me Take You Home Tonight, Boston
Hallelujah, Jeff Buckley
Sitting in Limbo, Jimmy Cliff
Incomplete, Bad Religion
I Can't Stand up for Falling Down, Elvis Costello
Wall of Death, R.E.M.
Mannish Boy, Jimi Hendrix
Little T&A, The Rolling Stones
The Crane Wife 3, The Decemberists

I know, totally pathetic.  Had to share though.  Sudoku really helps my patience.

Rainy Tuesday Afternoon...

Not to be confused with The 1994 song from The Pogues, Tuesday Morning, or the retro fashion clothing kitchy attire franchise, Tuesday Morning.  Just, rainy Tuesday afternoon. 

Pet Sematary by Stephen King

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


Every time I read a Stephen King novel, three things happen:  1.  I find myself thinking of that Gary Larson cartoon, wherein a prolific author, (Stephen King, John Grisham, Michael Crichton, Anne Rice) gets writer's block.  The punch-line of the cartoon is that he or she never really does get what you or I would call "Writer's Block", rather, they get stuck on choosing a haunted house or a haunted graveyard as their plot device.  2.  I find myself counting the number of references to other Stephen King books...Salem's Lot, Cujo, Carrie and a bit of something else were all in this one...just off the top of my head.  3.  I think about riding my bicycle, and am reminded of King's near fatal bicycle accident on a secluded road in Maine.



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Scratching on the Break

I thought briefly of posting a long blog entry about how many different types of vehicles I've single-handedly crashed, without injuring anybody but myself, or recounting the tale of my Big Wheel, circa 1983 or something, but after getting into an accident over the weekend, I had this thought in my head, about a guy who got stuck in an elevator not once, but twice in the same day.  It happened in Chicago, and was making the rounds on Twitter earlier in the day.  I am including some photos I've taken the past couple of months, as the Flickr Gadget has unexpectedly ceased to function....most of these were taken in and around Minneapolis / Saint Paul, while riding one bicycle or another.

Photo credit Michael McKinney

Photo credit Michael McKinney

Photo Credit Michael McKinney

Photo Credit Michael McKinney

Photo Credit Michael McKinney

Saturday afternoon ride to Trader Joe's in Saint Louis Park, followed by returning a movie at Merriam Park library and following my standard route to Summit along Fairview avenue. At Fairview and Dayton I was struck by a motorist. I'm pretty sure it could have been a lot worse, but I'm a bit disappointed with myself for not avoiding the driver. The driver presented a rolling stop while travellng West on Dayton, then gunned across Fairview and "T-Boned" me. All fingers and toes accounted for, but I am starting to deal with the inevitable fall out. My frame is a little bent, my wheels are shot and my knee is not satisfied with the situation...some groceries were also harmed in the making of this map...post...route. Or workout. Whatever it is you hipster kids call this.
The driver's stereo was blasting, and he couldn't hear me yelling at him to stop. He apologized and did stay at the accident site...I am getting the impression from bike shop personnel that his willingness to comply is commendable. For economical reasons, I haven't owned a car since August of 2009. When I did own a car, and did drive, turning on the stereo was action number two following engine ignition.  It is a small world.




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Seems a little redundant and unnecessary to credit myself on my own photos, doesn't it?  You'd think a blog, by its very nature would be narcissism enough, let alone allowing oneself to be delusional enough to think another person would actually try to take validation or credit from or for your work, which is beyond narcissistic.   Here's a one act play about it, including the ocean - The internet is a huge ocean, this is my buoy.  Get your own...right?  Whatever.  Enjoy.